Blog

6:00 am on a Tuesday morning. I woke up from a dream. A dream that seemed too ordinary to stir emotions. And it still did. I felt fear, sadness, and my heart pounding. It was about an application for a permanent job. How can that possibly stir up so much in me? I had to smile at the impact it had. My first reaction was to shake it off, forget about it. But the clear image of the job posting and the emotions were there to stay. They wanted to show me something. Something that felt uncomfortable and unwanted, and yet was so real in me. And then it dawned on me. Another sign that I’m in the middle of the messy middle…

A few weeks into building my own coaching and leadership practice, I’m processing the decision I made and the steps I’ve been taking to make it happen. On the transition bridge from the recent past to the near future, the emotions can be raw and overwhelming. Why so emotional? Why again? How can I just erase this discomfort and start with a clean “emotional” slate. The truth is there is no shortcut.

Like many, I’m quite good at rationalizing. All the debates I have with myself about the rightness of what I chose, the excitement of what lies ahead, the possibilities. They convince the rational part of me. I make space for emotions, take time to reflect. And yet, there is more to be felt and experienced. It’s a visceral reminder of my humanity. I know – rationally and emotionally – it’s part of my process, and feel fortunate to have coaching, supportive peers and learning communities on my side. And it struck me today how edgy a transition can feel even with support.

This post comes from the messy middle to anyone in the messy middle (or about to step into a messy middle). It’s a privilege to be here and it’s challenging to be here. The truth is real change doesn’t happen without it, and it’s also true that it’s demanding a lot in us.

If you are crossing an edge in your world in whatever shape or form it might be, know that you are not alone. Not alone in what you are feeling, not along in what you are dreaming, not alone in where you are at. And while situations and circumstances are vastly different, our shared humanity is strikingly similar. Sharing vulnerably is my way of reaching out and connecting in my process. What is yours?