Blog

I’ve kept the day to myself and my closest family and friends all my life. This year, it feels important to share it. Along with more about me. It’s like letting a door open a bit more.

There is so much going through my head and in my heart. The last 12 months have offered plenty of opportunities to make decisions, feel emotions, questions long-held beliefs, dive even deeper into relationships and grow through all of these and more.

If I were to describe it in one word, it would be overhaul. A complete change – inner and outer. It has been ongoing for decades, and there were many turning points in the last 365 days that made it real. My reflections are so many, and I’m choosing to share 3 of them in the spirit of openness and connection.

For decades, I had been celebrated for being the youngest and in many occasions “the best” (whatever the criteria might have been) – student, young professional, employee, volunteer… a high potential, a top performer, a leading speaker. Sometimes they felt flattering, sometimes they were giving me a sense of achievement and belonging, despite all their conditionality and subjectivity. They, however, had never been my goal… it always was growth, the ability to see more and dive deeper into humanity – my own, human collaboration, human communication, human connections – and to move something in someone for them and us, collectively. Towards a world fueled by more kindness and courage.

I haven’t always been kind. I haven’t always been courageous. Particularly these past 12 months, I felt so many triggers, so much fear, so much resentment. It was challenging and still is at times. And I know that kindness and courage lead to more of me, so I’m choosing them again in a different way. This time directed towards myself. Kindness and courage to choose myself and a step into a more truthful expression of my work in the world. “The best” changed to mean the most truthfully and courageously expressed at any point.

Relationships are the web of interconnections to ourselves, others, and the world around us. Knowing this is one thing, living it is another. My growth as a relationship and team coach in the last 6-7 years was remarkably challenging and joyful. I see more of the relationships I coach, and more in my own relationships. And with all the knowing and experience, notice again and again how much I underestimate the role they play as a foundation, space for growth, way to be in the world. There is no second of our lives that we are not in a relationship. Change in relationships is natural, as natural as in life. It can feel so scary, though. As life unfolded and changed in the last year, some relationships expanded and grew, others almost disappeared. Perhaps it’s always a choice (even if sometimes unintentional), and I felt like the relational foundation of my life is shifting. It was like walking on moving ground. I got dizzy, recovered, sadness came up, sometimes anger, sometimes the joy of connection. Through all these movements, I’ve learned to trust more – myself, and the wisdom of every single relationship, starting with the one with myself.

Movement has been a constant companion for me in the lat 25 years. For most of them, also as an instructor for others. And this past year, I felt compelled to continue on a movement journey that offers the benefits of strength building, flow, mobility, and mindful moments. I’m stronger and more deeply aligned to what my body needs, to my somatic expressions, to how emotions move through my body. It’s an immense act of self-respect to embrace movement intentionally and mindfully). It has been such a tremendous support in challenging moments of supporting others, in transitions, in courageous conversations and actions. It also shows me again and again how healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) it is to move, to get unstuck, to be present to the moment and choose to make a next move. Life moves all the time, and I can feel it moving through me with more self-respect, self-acceptance and self-authority. It’s a gift that consistent movement practices hold.

Wow, so much to share. And so much more to reflect on. I’ll stop here with the firm belief that sharing what I see connects and creates more.